Ch.249 A Woman on My Arm 

May 2024

          I am a 79-year-old heterosexual male. I live alone. I’d like to explore doing some new things in life, in particular going to plays and performances at local theaters. And I don’t want to go alone. Put that all together and it comes out: “I wonder if I could find a woman to attend these performances with me?”

          One thing I’ve learned since Pat died is that if I want companionship, I need to take the steps to find companions. Consequently, I’ve stepped forward on several occasions to ask people to meet for coffee, watch dvd’s on “Science and Spirituality” and “Russian Culture” with me, have supper before going to our grief group, etc. Most of these activities have been with men or couples. But that’s not what I wanted for the theater. I wanted to go “with a woman on my arm,” metaphorically or literally.

          Fortunately, I’ve found a perfect companion. Kay is a member of my book club and the widow of my great friend Howard. At the conclusion of our last club meeting, I asked her if she’d like to go to movies and plays with me, not dating but companioning. She agreed and we’ve now attended two performances, the most recent a play entitled “Other Desert Cities” that centers on a family torn apart by political differences and the suicide of one child. It was a play that needed to be talked down afterwards; I was very glad I had someone with whom I could share my reactions and receive hers.

          We talked about the theater on the way home; we described how we had met our spouses, how we had fallen in love. Not tearfully, though. Just as history, a way of filling in the blanks so we could get to know each other better.           Our last book club selection was called “This is Happiness.” The author equated the word “happiness” with the word “life.” So, this is life and having a new companion is happiness.